Munchies
by Amycat8733
Summary: John is feeling down. His birthday is in two weeks and he's on Earth catering to a Nancy-assed desk jockey. Rodney's innocent gift to cheer him up has far-reaching consequences.
1. Chapter 1

Welcome all! This is my entry into the SGA...10 years later fest on AO3.

I would like to thank Anna for helping me raise this story kitten. Thanks also to Kris and Emily for their contributions. You gals rock!

This idea struck me after reading about a rise in marijuana poisonings in Colorado after legalization. I support legalization, but do not support companies that purposefully name and label their products to seem similar to a name brand product.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Rodney McKay was in a hurry. He wanted to leave Sheppard a surprise before he got out of his meetings for the day. He'd seen his friend and team leader yesterday and he'd seemed down and pissed off. It was no wonder, really, they were on Earth for meetings and his family was on Atlantis. It didn't help that there was some asshat desk jockey Army General who had decided to be a Monday-morning quarterback and make Sheppard defend every action over the last year.

In order to cheer him up, Rodney decided to find some of the gourmet brownies that he used to buy when he was living in Colorado. It had taken some hunting, but Rodney had been successful. A package of TinkerBelle chocolate heaven brownies were hidden beneath some magazines he thought Sheppard would like. He ducked into Sheppard's quarters, deposited the goodies on his table and left.

Xoxoxoxo

John Sheppard was tired. His head hurt, his eyes burned, his ass was numb from sitting for so long and his hair was having sympathy pains for his headache.

It had occurred to him over lunch that Jordan was being such an ass because he was a xenophobe. The decisions he had the most problem with were any that involved his gene, Teyla or Ronon. Tomorrow he was going to have a talk with Landry and O'Neill before the meeting. He'd barely restrained himself today when the man had the gall to call him a killer. It was only knowing that the Army General was an ass kisser that stayed his hand. He'd also seen O'Neill's face and figured that the same crap wouldn't float tomorrow.

He set his meal down on the table in his quarters and dropped onto the bed to remove his boots and socks. The cool tile felt good to his aching feet. He stood and grabbed his dinner and only then noticed the bag. He peered in and was pleased to see the latest issue of Golf Digest on top. Digging through the bag he came across current issues of AirForce Monthly, ESPN, ESPN's college football review, and SyFy. Beneath the magazines was a container of gourmet brownies.

John ate his meal and opened the brownies, but he was so tired he only ate a small portion of one before going to bed.

The next day started out like the previous one had with Jordan asking for clarification of some of the material they had already covered. When he moved to the current missions and started criticizing every decision John had made that involved one of his native teammates, Jack stepped in after the third time.

"Jordan, that's enough."

The Army General glared. "I just want to determine how suitable Colonel Sheppard is for command of such an important base."

"There is nothing wrong with Sheppard's leadership. If there were it wouldn't be up to a desk jockey such as yourself to make that determination. You do not have the background to sit here and question any of his decisions."

"He is reckless, disrespectful, and does not respect the chain of command."

Landry snorted. "Which means he thinks outside the box, doesn't suffer fools and hasn't bent over for you to screw him. That attitude is what we look for in officers around here."

Jordan was shocked into silence.

Jack took advantage of the lull. "Gather your gear and get out of our mountain. You never should have been allowed inside the perimeter much less the mountain itself. You are a xenophobe and a nancy-assed prima donna. If you'd called me a killer yesterday you'd have picked your teeth off the floor. So quit glaring at my colonel and leave."

"The Secretary of Defense and the President will hear about this."

"I know they will cause they'll get to see the recordings. We've had enough fucked up stuff happen here that all meetings and briefings are recorded."

With Jordan gone the meeting went smoothly but the throbbing had already started behind John's eyes. It was with relief that the meeting ended for the day. John grabbed a sandwich, chips and a soda then headed for the cool quiet of his temporary quarters. He ate his lunch then grabbed the brownies and magazines and curled up on the bed. Teyla and many of the other women on base often claimed chocolate was good at soothing headaches, so he figured the love of his life, not to mention the other women in Atlantis, had to be on to something.

Xoxoxoxo

Rodney hurried through the corridors of Cheyenne Mountain. He had a new video game that Sheppard would like and, if pressed, would admit that he wanted to check on his friend. He'd tried to call him but his team leader wasn't answering. He knocked on Sheppard's door and still got no answer. Concern spiked in his gut so he pulled out his skeleton key and used it to gain access to Sheppard's room. The first thing he noticed was the stench of vomit. He covered his mouth and nose with a handkerchief and reached for the light switch.

Rodney scanned the room then hurried across it to drop to his knees by an unmoving black lump. He reached out with a shaking hand to find a pulse. His sigh of relief at finding one was cut short by the realization that it was too rapid. He jumped up and hit the medical alert near the door.

After only a few minutes that seemed longer, Rodney heard the squeak of a fast moving gurney and several sets of boots. Dr. Lam was first through the door, a medical pack in her hand.

"It's about time you got here!"

"Calm down McKay and tell me what happened."

Rodney took a deep breath then told her of trying to reach John then finally coming to his room, breaking in and finding him on the floor.

Lam had one of her nurses get a sample of the vomit while she performed a quick check after rolling John to his back. A wheezy sound had Lam calling for an oxygen tank. She reached down and rubbed her knuckles on John's sternum and was rewarded by a soft moan.

"Colonel, I need you to open your eyes for me."

Her request hung in the air for a moment before John frowned and started trying to fulfill her request. The frown grew deeper but John finally managed to crank his eyes open. He blinked and looked around, his gaze coming to rest on Rodney's face.

"Good, Colonel. Now I need to check your pupils."

Rodney returned his friend's gaze. There was something odd about John's eyes and it took his super brain a moment to figure out what. "Doctor, I ..."

The retest of his sentence was cut off as Lam flashed her penlight in John's eyes. The response was immediate and unexpected.

John let out a sharp yell and bucked off the floor as he started choking.

Rodney reacted faster than Lam and rolled John to his side then held him as his stomach tried to eject itself. When the gagging ceased, John went limp in Rodney's grasp.

A flurry of activity followed. Lam motioned forward the gurney and had John secured to it, on his side in case of another episode of vomiting, in short order, an IV already in place as well as a nasal cannula before they hurried from the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews! My plot kitty is purring so hard he's vibrating! Thanks again to Anna for encouragement and beta!

This chapter contains mention of non-con drug use. TinctureBelle and Hershey's are property of their owners. The case mentioned is real and is what gave me the idea.

Now, on with our story.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

"Marijuana poisoning."

Lam's diagnosis hung in the silence of the waiting room.

"Well hell." Jack scrubbed his face with one hand. "How the fuck did that happen?"

"According to my tests, Colonel Sheppard ingested a large amount of marijuana in the span of a few hours." Lam took a deep breath. "I took the liberty of sending a team to his room to find the source and they came back with this." She held up a plastic food container. "When the vomit was tested, it showed high amounts of THC and cocoa."

Rodney paled and dropped into one of the chairs. "It's my fault. I killed Sheppard."

Sam left her seat and crouched by Rodney's. "What did you do?"

"He was hiding it real well, but I could tell he was depressed at being away from Teyla and the kids, so I went to a bakery I used to go to and picked up some gourmet brownies to go with the magazines I'd bought in order to cheer him up."

"Rodney, think very carefully. Which bakery did you go to?"

Rodney stared into space. "TinkerBelle's. They're on Essex."

Daniel was already calling up the results. "This is bad, Jack. There is a bakery on Essex, but it's called TinctureBelle. They specialize in cannabis laced candy and baked goods. They're even being sued by Hershey for copyright infringement. TinkerBelle closed two years ago when the owner retired."

Lam cleared her throat. "Colonel Sheppard is not dead. He is very sick though. When marijuana is smoked, the effects are predictable. The same is not true when it is ingested. I pumped his stomach and had to put him on a vent when he went into respiratory arrest. Right now, all I can do is make him comfortable and wait for him to wake up.

Xoxoxoxo

John floated on a bed of darkness. There was no pain, no light, no worries. He drifted, reveling in the absence of duty and stress, although a sense of … something ... kept pricking his conscience, but it was an insignificant irritant and easily ignored. After some time passed, he became aware of a tapping noise. Sometimes it was steady, sometimes it was fast and furious, then it ceased altogether. When the noise resumed, John let out a sigh of relief and latched onto the tapping. The sound meant something … someone important to him was nearby. The clicking turned into a rope that wrapped around his consciousness and pulled him inexorably to the surface.

xoxoxoxo

Rodney was busily working on his laptop, trolling through the reports he'd received in the last data burst. A sound drew his attention away from the half-decent report Simmons had sent on her latest project and he froze, fingers poised as he listened. He glanced over at the other person in the room to see if he was finally waking. A week ago today he'd broke into Sheppard's guest room to find his friend lying on the floor, a pool of vomit nearby. Lam and her somewhat competent lackeys had descended on Sheppard and whisked him off to the SGC's house of voodoo. Sheppard spent three days on a ventilator until enough of the marijuana left his system and he could breathe on his own again. The next two days he was completely unresponsive to outside stimulus. The last two days he'd started twitching in response to loud noises, but had yet to awaken.

Rodney was about to resume his typing when he heard the noise again. He glanced up in time to see John's fingers twitch in the dim light. He set his laptop aside and leaned forward to clasp the long, cool fingers in his own. He squeezed gently. "C'mon, Colonel Calamity, you've been lazy long enough. Time to wake up and smell the coffee."

Rodney had expected a twitch or a sarcastic comment. He didn't expect his friend to start gagging and coughing. Alarmed, he grabbed a nearby basin and held it while John coughed up bile. After a week unconscious, there wasn't anything in his stomach, although that could also be blamed on Lam for pumping his stomach to reduce the amount of cannabis trying to be absorbed.

"Don't mention ... food … for a while."

Rodney set the basin down and looked up at his friend. John looked terrible. His eyes were red and dark circled, his gravity-defying hair lay flat and limp against his head, and his hands shook with faint tremors. "Food? Please, Colonel, cof..."

John reached out with a strength Rodney wouldn't have thought possible and grabbed his collar. "Keep it up ... and you will forget ... what a hot shower feels like." He fell back into his pillows. The burst of temper had cost him and his head was pounding harder. He closed his aching eyes as he rode the wave of pain.

Rodney gulped. He had used that very same tactic on a number of people that had wronged him over the years, both before and since coming to Atlantis. It was especially effective in Atlantis since he and Zelenka were the people who would get called on to fix said problem. Sheppard's threat was a lot more real because he could tell the city to ignore any attempts to solve the problem until he removed the lock.

A raspy cough drew Rodney's attention. He hit the call button even as he reached for a half-melted cup of ice chips. Using a plastic spoon, he fished out a few and poured them into John's mouth.

John's eyes closed as the chips melted and soothed his scratchy throat. He was about to ask McKay what happened when Lam walked in.

"How are you feeling, Colonel?"

"Like crap. My throat's raw, stomach feels like it was turned inside out, and my head hurts."

Lam checked his pulse. She considered checking his pupils, but noticed they were reacting normally when she held her hand in front of his face for a moment. "Well, you're certainly doing better than you were a week ago."

"A week?" John's eyes narrowed. "Is this a joke?"

"No, it's not." Lam pulled over a stool and sat down. "You are recovering from marijuana poisoning."

"How the hell ..." John's voice trailed off as a thought occurred to him. He recalled hearing that Colorado had recently legalized pot and that one of the popular uses for it was to mix it with chocolate. "The brownies."

At John's statement, Rodney scrunched up like a turtle withdrawing into his shell.

"McKay."

That one drawled word made Rodney shrink even more.

"Don't be too hard on him, Colonel. It wasn't done on purpose. You are getting better, but you'll feel like you have a horrible hangover for the next few days. I have other patients to see. SG-16 is on their way in with injuries so I need to make certain everything is ready. Melanie will be in with your next doses in a few minutes. Doctor McKay, I'll leave it to you to fill him in."

"Thanks, Doc."

Lam smiled as she left the small room.

Rodney could feel John's eyes on him as Lam left the room. "So … um …"

"Rodney."

Rodney jumped at John's gravelly drawl.

"Just tell me what happened."

Rodney looked down at his lap. His normally expressive hands lay limp on his thighs. Taking a deep breath, he looked up. "YougotsickbecauseIboughtyoubrownieslacedwithmarijuana."

John's forehead furrowed as he translated from Rodney-speak. "Oookaay."

"It was an accident!"

John closed his eyes again. His headache was ramping up even more. Where was Melanie with the good drugs?

"The bakery I used to get gourmet … goods from closed and another with a similar name opened in its place."

Red light pulsed behind John's closed eyelids as Rodney got louder. "Rodney."

"Yes, what?"

"Ssshhh."

Rodney peered down at his friend as a nurse, probably Melody or Melamine or whatever, entered John's room. "Did you …? Did he shush me?"

Melanie glided across the floor and injected the syringes on her tray into John's IV. "I believe so, Doctor McKay. Colonel Sheppard does need plenty of rest and I'm sure he has a very nasty headache." She disposed of the syringes, tucked John's blankets around him, and dimmed the light over the bed then left.

Rodney looked at John. He'd melted into the mattress once the medications hit his system. He patted John on the shoulder then moved his laptop over near the door so he could keep a watch on John and keep out riffraff.

xoxoxoxo

Jack and Sam visited the next day. It seemed that Jordan had complained to the President and the Secretary of Defense. They weren't very happy when they saw the recordings of the so-called debriefings. They did record the Secretary of Defense telling Jordan that he wasn't fit to even be in the military and promised to find out how such a weak-kneed, piss poor excuse of a human had managed to get promoted to General. He was livid and told Jordan that he wasn't good enough to be in the same room with the lowest Corporal in the SGC, much less someone with the record of Sheppard, O'Neill or Landry.

Two days later, Lam declared John sufficiently recovered and released him.

Two days after that, John and Rodney Gated home in time for John's birthday, which was the following day.


	3. Chapter 3

Wow! Thanks so much for the lovely reviews. Jhon, my plot kitty, and I are both feelin' the love. To show our appreciation, here's the next chapter. Thanks again to Anna for her beta and for helping raise this kitten, and to Kris and Emily for their contributions to this chapter. Now, on with the story ...

* * *

Teyla was anxious as she waited for the Gate from Earth. She had not seen John for three weeks and missed him greatly. Torren fidgeted by her side, impatient for John to arrive. The twins, Charin and Joseph, were with Aleeah. She almost jumped as the chevrons on the Gate lit to announce the incoming wormhole.

"Scheduled off-world activation from the SGC."

The event horizon whooshed into life and a moment later, a group of figures in uniform stepped through, some carrying duffels while others pushed pallets of perishable supplies. The first group advanced into the Gateroom as two figures stepped through. Teyla hurried forward, the identity of one announced by his locks of unruly hair.

"John, I am glad you are home safely." Teyla placed her hands on his chest and leaned forward.

"Teyla." John breathed as he leaned forward and down, his hands traveling to cup the back of her head.

They parted and straightened. Teyla turned to their teammate. "Rodney, it is good to see you as well."

"Da!"

John turned and caught the toddler shaped missile that had launched from the edge of the Gateroom. Torren had shown remarkable restraint in waiting as long as he had. "Hey, T.J., you been good for your Mom?"

"Yup, I have."

"Good." John hefted the boy over his head and Torren held out his arms while making airplane noises. He held Torren as they walked across the floor, Teyla having picked up his bag.

"How was your trip?"

John and Rodney exchanged a glance over her head.

"Rough."

John pulled Torren down, blew a raspberry on his belly then tossed him over his shoulder, Torren's heels caught firmly in John's large, strong hand. Torren squealed in delight and started squirming to try and tickle John. Torren wriggled one pudgy hand under John's shirt and managed to untuck the black tee beneath, but the moment he touched skin, John jerked him up and plopped him on his shoulders for a ride.

John handed Torren off to Teyla when they reached the infirmary for the mandatory check-up. Carson pulled the curtain shut on the exam area as John sat on the bed.

"I hear you had a rough time on Earth, Colonel."

"Yeah, you could say that. Lam checked me over before we left and gave me a clean bill of health."

"Aye, but I'm still gonna check fer myself. She sent copies of your records. Marijuana poisoning can be tricky. I'll have Marie draw a blood sample while the scanner warms up and I take care o' Rodney an' I'll be back to you in a bit."

John lay back on the bed and tried to relax. He was still getting headaches if he overexerted and his eyes were sore. Lam had been hesitant to give him eyedrops and had recommended cool compresses to his word, Carson was back in short order. John walked to the scanner and lay down, wincing at the bright lights. Carson handed him a pair of eye protectors before he started the scan.

"You're light sensitive?"

"Yeah. Lam said it's one of the symptoms and that the sensitivity will go away on it's own along with the headaches."

"Aye, it will. Did she give you anything for your eyes? I notice they're rather bloodshot."

"Nah, she suggested I put damp washcloths on them and stay out of bright areas."

"Well, I've got some soothing eye drops for ye, and I'll get you somethin' for those headaches. Nuthin that'll make ye drowsy, but they will take the edge off."

"That's great, thanks Carson."

"Yer tests are clean. The blood sample is still showin' trace amounts, but your body should flush it in a few days. Just keep drinkin' lots o' liquids and ye'll be fine. I do want to see yeh back in three days unless any issues crop up."

Carson handed John his meds and chased him out of his infirmary.

xoxoxoxo

While John was getting his check-up, Teyla was finalizing the details for a small birthday party. She knew John would be uncomfortable with a large party so she had organized a small, intimate party. Mindful of the small ears nearby, she was careful with her comments and made no mention of cake, ice cream, or presents.

xoxoxoxo

Rodney was impatient as he suffered through his exam. He had a feeling that Teyla was planning a get together for tomorrow and he needed to talk to her first. The Fates, however, had other ideas because no sooner did Carson finish with him, Radek called to request his assistance with a repair. A repair that turned into a major issue that took the rest of the day.

xoxoxoxo

John was up early to watch the sunrise then went back to bed. Carson had warned him against running until the headaches quit and there were no meetings scheduled. Lorne and Teldy were taking care of orientation for the replacement troops that had arrived yesterday. Snuggled against Teyla, he had no trouble going back to sleep.

When he woke the second time, it was to an empty bed. He had slept through Teyla rising and the kids wanting to be fed. Because Teyla was admittedly a horrible cook, John had come up with an idea that allowed her to cook while keeping everyone healthy. He had the cooks whip up some meals that she could reheat or that she only had to add one or two ingredients to, such as eggs or water, then prepare. It was a win-win situation for the entire family.

John took a shower and dressed. He stepped out of the bedroom and was greeted by the scent of fresh coffee, pancakes and sausages. "Good morning, sweetie."

"Good morning, John. Happy birthday, my love." Teyla wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head down for a serious kiss.

"If this is how I get greeted, I think every day should be my birthday!"

Teyla flashed him a smile. "Would you not soon grow tired of it?"

"Not if it means kisses like that."

"Oh, I am certain I can find ways to make you appreciate the rest of the year."

"Really?"

Teyla stood on tiptoe and whispered in his ear, a sultry look smouldering in her eyes.

She pulled back and he gazed into her eyes. He leaned down and nibbled lightly on her ear. "It's a date, Mrs. Sheppard. But I need to eat and go do some work today."

Teyla frowned. "I thought you were off duty today."

"Nope. I was supposed to be off, but there's some silly batch of reports that one of the IOA suits wants today. I've already got most of them done, just need to finish them."

"Make certain you are done by dinner. I have asked the cooks to prepare a special meal for you."

"Okay."

xoxoxoxo

John was happy as he moved through the corridors towards home. Quite a few of the expedition had stopped by his office or caught him in the halls and wished him a happy birthday. A few got rather mushy about it, but the long-time members had balanced them out. Lorne had presented him with a portrait of Atlantis in flight which now adorned a wall of his office. Radek had slipped him a twelve pack of Guinness and a bottle of his homebrew. He also had enough candy bars in his desk to put McKay into a diabetic coma although it would be awhile before he ate any of them as even the thought of chocolate made his stomach rumble with warning.

John stepped into his and Teyla's shared quarters and headed for the bedroom. The table in the dining area was set, but no one had arrived yet. He figured Teyla was picking up the kids and would be back soon. As he stripped his uniform off, he thought the shower on then stepped in. He took his time washing and stood for a while under the spray, letting the water pound away the aches of a day spent doing paperwork. Aches eased, John stepped from the shower and dressed in blue jeans and a dark blue button down shirt.

He entered the main room and found Teyla back with the kids. She was trying to feed the twins, but Charin was being cranky today. He captured Teyla's lips for a kiss then picked up his daughter, her bottle and a towel then settled in his recliner. No sooner did he get her comfortable than she quieted and readily took her bottle. Teyla noted the sounds of suckling and gave John one of her looks. John simply smiled and shifted Charin on his lap.

John held his daughter until she finished her bottle then burped her. He sat and enjoyed the sensation of contentment emanating from Charin which was echoed by her brother Joseph. Mealtime over, he and Teyla bathed the babes and put them to bed.

Torren had been playing by his feet while the babies were fed and now that they were asleep, he claimed his Daddy's attention by climbing up in his lap and telling him of his day. John held him and injected comments at appropriate points. Finished regaling John with his activities, Torren asked to watch Shrek so John brought it up on the TV for him. He was halfway through the movie when the guests arrived.

Ronon and Amelia arrived first with Rodney and Radek right behind them. Evan arrived with Anne Teldy, Carson and Woolsey. Torren forgot his movie and romped through the room, bouncing from person to person. The food followed a short time later, delivered by two of the kitchen staff on two large carts.

After dinner, they settled in and gave John his gifts. Torren handed him a brightly colored picture with two stick figures on it. The two figures had their arms out and appeared to be flying across a clear blue sky.

"That's me" Torren pointed to the small figure, "and that one's you, Daddy" which was the larger figure with his hair sticking out.

"Thank you. I love it." John picked him up, gave T.J. a hug then tickled him until the boy squealed. Everyone else, used to the pair's antics, just smiled.

Ronon went next. He stood and thrust a lumpy package wrapped in some kind of leather into John's hands. John peeled the wrap back to reveal a set of flat knives in different lengths. He pulled one out and tested it against the leather. It cut cleanly with only a minimal amount of force.

"They're handmade from black _magoran _crystal. It's harder than steel and non-magnetic."

"Thanks. Hopefully I won't need to use them very often."

That got a chuckle out of everyone present. Lorne and Radek had already given John their gifts so Anne went next.

"Here, Sir." Anne placed a large box in his lap.

John opened the box carefully and discovered a new tac vest made by Dragonskin. He looked up at her, his expression curious.

"It was my idea, but most of the troops chipped in. We hope it will help keep you out of the infirmary. Some of us would like others to spend less time covering for you." Anne said with a sidelong glance at Evan.

John caught the glance and made a note to schedule the two some together time. He wasn't worried about fraternization as they were only months apart in rank and did not serve on the same team. It didn't hurt that the SGC had adopted pretty lenient rules regarding relationships.

Amelia presented John with a heavy box. He unwrapped it and discovered a metal ammo box packed full of boxes of Hornady Zombie Killers.

"I saw a demonstration on Earth. They're more expensive than regular hollow points, but they make a bigger hole. The polymer in the tips makes them expand on impact."

John's eyes lit up in glee, and Lorne mentally noted to double the next order of ballistic gel.

Teyla stepped forward and placed a slender package in John's hands. He removed the wrap to reveal a set of Bantos rods. They were longer and heavier than his current set.

"This is a combat set. Every pupil of Bantos receives a basic pair when they start training. When they are deemed ready, their teacher presents them with a custom made pair. These are made of ironwood, which is very durable."

"Thank you, Teyla." John pulled her down onto his lap and engaged her luscious lips in a kiss. She returned his affection the squirmed from his grasp and escaped.

The ironwood was stained dark blue, but the grain of the wood showed through and added highlights and shadows. John rolled the sticks and noticed that each was carved with a phrase in Ancient.

'Two lives, two hearts, one soul' was on the left stick while 'Two roads meet never to part again' was etched on the right.

"We'll break them in later."

"Indeed." Teyla returned with a saucy wink.

Woolsey stepped forward in the wake of Teyla's escape with a tall, slender package wrapped in gold foil. Woolsey tugged his suit jacket down and gave a small smile. "For the days that turn writing reports into a creative writing exercise."

John took it and gently removed the foil wrap. Inside was a bottle of twelve year old Glenfiddich scotch. "Thank you, Richard."

Rodney stepped forward and thrust a flat box into John's face.

"Hey, watch it! I'm rather fond of that eye." John fingered a point beneath his left eye and came up with a smear of blood.

"Oh, sorry, Sheppard. Your face must have jumped in front of the box."

John gave the scientist his best death glare as he snatched the heavy box from his hand. He tore open the wrap and picked up the letter lying on top of a leather wrapped external hard drive embossed with the NFL logo.

_Colonel Sheppard,_

_We here at the NFL are pleased to support our troops in any way we can. All of our troops make a tremendous sacrifice every day, by being far away from family and friends. Under such trying circumstances, even a small thing can make home seem not so far away. To be stationed at a remote research base without reliable communications back home must be horrible._

_We are sorry that you and the men on your base have missed the last six years of games and have decided to grant your request. Enclosed you will find the past six seasons of games played by all 32 NFL teams in their entirety. They are organized by week. The playoffs and Super Bowls have also been included along with the commercials and Halftime shows._

_In the future, in order to provide you and your men with a touch of home, we will be transmitting each week's games after the week is complete to the email address you provided in your letter. We wish you the best and you have our respect and gratitude._

_Sincerely,_

_Paul Tagliabue_

_Commissioner of the National Football League_

"Rodney." John stretched the two syllables out until his friend squirmed where he stood. "What letter is this talking about?"

Rodney brought his hands together, his fingers twitching. "Um, well, I wanted to get you something special for your birthday, but I couldn't decide what. I happened to walk past some of the new troops several weeks ago and overheard them arguing about a football game. And … um … Well, I remembered that you like football, so … um … I used your name and sent a request to the Commissioner's office, explained our situation and asked if they would send us the games from the last several years. I thought about going further back, but figured you probably got to watch the games when you were stationed at Mc, … um … down south."

John was silent. Everyone waited for the explosion but it never came. Instead, they received a shock as John stood, stared Rodney straight in the eye then wrapped his arms around his shoulders in a masculine hug. "Thanks. It's a great present, and if you ever do it again, I'll introduce you as our team leader next time a group of village elders want us to participate in their friendship ritual."

Rodney opened his mouth but no sound issued from its depths. He closed it and took a deep breath. "Right, gotcha."

Motion in the kitchen area caught John's eye. The group standing before him parted as Teyla pushed in one of the carts. On top was his birthday cake. He couldn't tell what kind of cake it was, but it was frosted in shades of blue and sported little aircraft across its surface. John looked at each and realized there was one of every aircraft he had ever flown including a Dart. A figure of Atlantis sat in the middle and supported one large candle.

"We only put one candle on cause we didn't want the fire extinguishers to go off."

"Thanks, Rodney." John drawled. "You know how to make a guy feel good."

Carson elbowed Rodney in the ribs.

"Ow, um… well, … knowing your luck, if we had put all the candles on there they might have flared up and you might've gotten singed or something."

Teyla lit the candle and they sang happy birthday to John. Torren crawled up in his lap and added his own unique twist to the age-old lyrics.

John held his emotions firmly in check although he knew Teyla could sense him clearly and Torren received vague impressions. He knew when John was happy, sad, upset or sick; anything else was too much for the toddler to sort out. As the song ended, John leaned forward and blew out the candle with Torren's well-intentioned help.

"Thanks, buddy."

"I love you, Daddy." Torren threw his arms around John's neck and kissed him on the cheek.

When Torren settled back down beside his Dad, John looked up to find Carson cutting the cake. The job had fallen to him since he was a doctor and could cut nice, even squares. Radek was placing the pieces on plates and Amelia added a scoop of ice cream to each before passing them out. She handed John the first piece. The frosted edge was towards him so he didn't realize what kind of cake it was until he put the first bite in his mouth. He'd been distracted by Rodney trying to cajole Carson into cutting him a chunk of the cake the same size as the plates they were eating from. The taste of dark chocolate hit his taste buds and his stomach immediately rebelled. John set his fork and plate down and hurried for the master bathroom.


	4. Chapter 4

Well, it's that time again. Another story kitten has grown up and is off to travel the world. Thanks to all of you for the lovely reviews and comments. My plot kitty and I have greatly enjoyed them. Now, on with our story ...

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Teyla always enjoyed watching John, especially when he was relaxed and with family. His emotions, usually so carefully guarded, would slip out to play. In the beginning, she had thought it was due to his position, but as they grew closer and the team became a family, she noticed he loosened his hold on his feelings and allowed them to show. Even then, she never saw him in a truly unguarded state until their vacation on Timbre where she had approached him and made her interest known.

She loved to watch him with the children, their pure emotions drawing his out of hiding. John was such a wonderful father and it made her glad that she had given him something he had wanted so badly.

As comfortable as he had been all evening, she was rather surprised when he stiffened right after taking his first bite of cake. Perhaps he was coming down with something, or had ingested bad food? She glanced around, no one else appeared sick. John startled her when he abruptly stood and hurried in the direction of their bedroom and it's more private bathroom.

Thinking that his upset could be due to stress, she delayed following to check on him. She grew concerned when he did not return after several minutes. She set her half-eaten dessert aside and stood.

"Is there somethin' wrong, lass?"

"I am worried about John, Carson. He has been gone a long time."

Carson set his own dish aside. "Hmm, true. I'll come with ye an' make certain he's not comin' down with anything."

"Thank you, Carson."

They slipped out of the main room and made their way to the master bathroom. They could faintly hear John retching through the door.

"John, we are coming in."

Teyla and Carson were shocked at John's appearance when they stepped into the bathroom. He was slumped in the floor, head hanging over the bowl as he emptied his stomach. His face was pale and slick with a mixture of sweat and tears.

Carson reached over to check his pulse and get a baseline temperature. "Son, did you feel sick earlier?"

John shook his head as another wave of cramps hit.

"Have you had any chills or hot flashes?"

"No," John ground out as he leaned heavily against the bowl.

Teyla dampened a washrag and knelt to clean his face.

"What set this off? Is it something you ate?"

"Cake." John closed his eyes as he willed his stomach to settle.

Teyla frowned. "Did I choose wrong? Choc …"

The rest of Teyla's sentence was drowned out as John lunged upright and offered the remaining contents of his stomach to the porcelain god.

Carson snapped his fingers as the pieces fell into place. "Oh, dear, the cake. Doctor Lam mentioned that in the report she sent me."

Teyla looked up at the Scottish doctor, irritation mixing with worry on her regal features. "Carson?"

Carson caught the look and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. You did know the Colonel was very sick last week?"

"No, I did not. I did not receive any messages nor did anyone speak with me about such an event."

"Ach, I didna know. He was comatose for several days due to marijuana poisoning."

"John was poisoned and I am finding out about it now?"

Carson reached over to rub John's back, mirroring Teyla on John's other side as he leaned back to rest his forehead on the cool rim. Carson straightened enough to fix John a cup of water. "Here ya go, lad."

John raised his head, took the cup in one shaking hand and rinsed his mouth.

Carson levered himself upright. "Will you be alright on yer own for a few, John?"

John nodded.

Carson shifted his attention to Teyla. "Let's talk in the other room so I don't aggravate John's wee problem."

John groaned at the word "wee" and Teyla placed a hand on his shoulder in a silent question, but John just waved her towards the bedroom and Carson.

Teyla followed the doctor and pulled the door shut behind her to avoid distressing John further. She perched on the edge of the bed and Carson seated himself beside her.

"The Colonel was poisoned with a drug called marijuana. When smoked, users become mellow and calm. When ingested, it can cause a lot of problems."

"This is what happened to John? He was fed this substance?"

"Yes, but not intentionally. On Earth, most areas consider marijuana an illegal substance, but some of the states in the country John is from have recently legalized marijuana. It can be purchased in controlled amounts in special stores. Some sell it ready to be smoked while others use it in baked goods or candy bars."

"And it was through one of these that someone poisoned John?"

Carson was alarmed by the look in Teyla's eyes. He'd seen that look on a few missions and someone usually wound up bleeding. "Yes, and it's my understanding that the person that gave him the laced treats did so by accident."

"If this occurred over a week ago, why is John sick now?"

"When an incident occurs like this where an illness is caused by an item, encountering a similar item can cause the body to react as it originally did. Because he got sick after eating laced brownies, the chocolate cake caused the reaction."

"I understand. What can we do to help him?"

"Keep him calm and warm, get him something soothing for his stomach, a couple of Tylenol for his headache and let him rest for a few days."

Teyla and Carson rose and returned to John, who was curled on the floor shivering.

Teyla crouched at his side and caressed his cheek. "John, wake up."

"'m wake."

"That is good. Now, you need to get up. We shall get these damp clothes off you and help you to bed, and then I shall bring you some of the coconut pudding to soothe your stomach."

John groaned, but he was able to clamber to his feet with Teyla and Carson's help. Carson held him steady while Teyla undressed him and took another damp washrag and wiped the sweat from his skin. Once she finished, Carson helped her dress John in a pair of cotton sleep pants decorated with airplanes and a t-shirt. Together they managed to steer him to the bed.

John crawled beneath the covers, rolled onto his left side and drew his knees up to ease the ache in his gut. He rolled his head back and blinked drowsily at Carson and Teyla then winced. The light in the suite was too bright for his aching head so he focused and thought the lights down.

"Not Rodney's fault."

Teyla and Carson were both confused. What did their excitable friend have to do with John's illness?

Xoxoxoxo

Rodney noticed when John left the room in a hurry, followed soon after by Carson and Teyla, but it took a while for the reason to sink in. He had just popped the last piece of the double-sized piece of cake he'd gotten talked Carson into cutting for him in his mouth when he looked over at John's chair. Sitting on the table beside it was his piece of chocolate cake, resting in a puddle of melting ice cream, one bite missing from a corner. _Chocolate_ cake. The guilt he thought he'd purged before they returned home roared back full force. He'd meant to tell Teyla to order a different flavor of cake, but he'd let himself get distracted and forgot.

He stood and was about to follow in Teyla and Carson's footsteps when the pair in question returned. Carson stopped near John's chair while Teyla headed for the kitchen.

Sharp-eyed Ronon was the first to voice his concern. "Where's Sheppard?"

"The Colonel's feelin' a wee bit under the weather and has retired for the evening. He said to thank all of ye fer comin' to celebrate with him."

Amelia rose and Ronon followed suit. "Thanks for having us over. Tell the Colonel that we hope he feels better soon."

Woolsey, Lorne, Anne, and Radek uttered similar sentiments before leaving.

Torren had been playing in the corner after finishing his cake. He looked up as Teyla neared the kitchen. "Mama, where Daddy?"

Teyla knelt to Torren's height. "Daddy is not feeling well and is resting."

Torren put down his fighter jet. "I go see Daddy, make him feel better."

Teyla smiled. "I am certain that he would like that."

She ducked into the kitchenette and grabbed a bowl of pudding from the fridge. Torren followed on her heels as she took the pudding to John.

Rodney dropped back onto the couch as Carson sat down beside him. Teyla did not know why Rodney had stayed, but she would tend to John first.

Teyla entered the dim room and headed for John's side. "John?"

"m wake." He shifted and managed to sit up with a groan.

"Are you feeling sick again?"

"No, I'm just sore." He spotted the dish in her hand. "Is that the pudding?"

"Yes. Here."

Teyla passed John the dish then lifted Torren to the bed.

"Daddy, Mama said you sick."

"Yeah, but it's only an upset stomach and a headache. I'll be fine."

"Daddy will be alright. I shall make certain of that."

John set his bowl down and snagged Torren with one long arm. "It's past your bedtime, buddy."

"You read me story?" Torren moved towards the edge of the bed.

"How 'bout I tell you a story? A brand new one?"

The prospect of a new story caught Torren's attention and he settled in to listen. Teyla stepped back to allow Torren his time with John. It also gave her the chance to observe John. He was pale from his bout of sickness, strands of sweat dampened hair stuck to his forehead, his hands shook with reaction, there were pain lines near his eyes, but the eyes were clear and bright. He simply needed rest and in a few days he would be his normal charming and handsome self.

John signaled the end of story time by placing a light kiss on Torren's forehead. Teyla returned to his side and scooped her son up. "I shall put him to bed while you finish the pudding."

Teyla was almost to the door when John called out. "I love you."

"I love you as well. Get some rest please."

Teyla helped Torren into his pajamas and put him to bed. When she returned to the main area, she noted that their bedroom was dark. This meant John had finished his pudding and should be asleep. Now it was time to take care of Rodney. She carried a suspicion as to why John had mentioned their teammate earlier, but she wished to hear from the scientist first.

Xoxoxoxo

Rodney was silent as he watched Teyla put Torren to bed. That was something John usually did. That Teyla was doing it meant John was sick. Again. Carson had been quiet since he sat down, like he was waiting for something or someone.

Rodney leaned forward, his forearms resting on his thighs; his fingers clasped together this way he didn't have to see Carson's face while they waited for Teyla. A light weight settled beside him.

"Rodney, please tell me what happened on Earth. John said it was not your fault."

Rodney exploded from the couch and spun to look at his friends. "He's trying to make me feel better. It was my fault that he was poisoned. It's my fault he's sick now. I should have paid better attention to where I was going and what I was buying."

"Rodney, did ye know the bakery had closed?"

"No, but I should have checked the name."

"Are ye psychic now? I read Carolyn's report. I also read Sam's."

Teyla frowned. "What does Sam have to do with this, Carson?"

"She and Daniel did some investigatin'. Seems this company purposely tries to fool people. Plus, it seems that the warning about the legalization was left out of the briefing materials that returning personnel receive. Apparently, someone thought it wasn't necessary information for Atlantis personnel to know. The perpetrator has been suitably punished."

"I still should have known! Sheppard could have died. He was in a coma for a week. It's only been a week since he woke up and now he's sick again!"

Carson patted the air with his hands in a calming gesture. "Rodney, keep yer voice down afore ye wake the Colonel."

"Too late."

Rodney spun as Carson and Teyla shifted on the couch. John was leaning against the doorjamb to their bedroom. He was still pale and sweating, but the shakes were gone.

Teyla rose and went to him. "You should be in bed."

John smiled at his lovely wife. "I will be soon as I put a stop to this." He shifted his gaze to his friend. "Rodney, I told you I didn't blame you and I still don't. It was an accident."

"An accident that almost got you killed."

"Rodney." John's sharp tone brought the scientist up short. "What's done is done. Quit beating yourself up over it."

"I also forgot to tell Teyla about you being sick."

"That was not yer job, lad. Doctor Lam or one o' her staff should've taken care o' that." Irritation grew on Carson's face. "And sure as this world has two moons, she will be hearin' from me about that lapse."

"Carson's right, Rodney. Lam or one of her minions should have notified Teyla as soon as I was settled in the SGCs infirmary." John pushed off the door facing and turned towards the waiting darkness and his bed. He'd only taken a single shuffling step when he stopped and glanced back. "Since you feel the need to be punished, you get to tell Staff Sergeant Ortiz why she can't serve anything chocolate this week."

"I'd rather spar with Ronon and you know my feelings on sparring!"

"I can arrange that. He's wanted to whip you into shape for years."

"Fine. If Ortiz kills me and plans to serve me to the slavering masses, just don't let her marinade me with anything citrus."

John flashed him a smirk. "I'm thinking a nice maple cherry glaze with slivered almonds over rice pilaf."

Rodney flipped him a one-fingered salute.

"Now, if there aren't any other well-intentioned scientists that I need to fix, I'm going to bed." John yawned.

"Go. I would hate for you to not get enough beauty sleep."

John waved as he vanished into the depths of the suite.

xoxoxoxo

John slept late the next morning. He didn't stir when Teyla got up or when Torren came in to check on him. It was only when he was at home, in the safety of his own bed that he slept so soundly.

When he finally woke and crawled from bed, it was to find the suite empty. Teyla had taken the children to the day care room and went about her duties. She had left him a note informing him of such and that Carson took him off duty for two days.

Since he had the day off, he decided to take care of himself. He ran through a Tai Chi routine then indulged in a long soak in the Jacuzzi. After his soak, he took a shower then fixed a hearty lunch. Feeling the need for sun and air, he took his lunch and his iPod out to the balcony. He watched the waves while he ate and let them carry away his accumulated stress. Fed, warm and relaxed, he stretched out on his lounger and allowed the distant sounds of the surf breaking against Atlantis' hull to lull him to sleep.

John jerked awake as something hit his back.

"You should thank me."

John shifted onto his side and yawned. "Why?"

"If you laid there any longer, you'd be red as a lobster."

A crooked grin graced John's face. "Nope, hate to disappoint but it's rare I burn. Also, Atlantis likes me."

Rodney huffed. "I know the city has a thing for messy haired, stubborn, smarter than they look flyboys, but what does that have to do with you not getting a sunburn?"

"How long does it take to get a sunburn?"

"As little as fifteen minutes."

"I've been out here over two hours."

"What?"

"Yes, Rodney, two hours. I did put sunscreen on, but if you check, you'll also find a UV shield in place."

"How come …"

"Hey, I don't know why you never noticed. Think about it. As much time as my Marines spend outside, none of them get sunburned unless they're on the mainland."

Rodney had something on his mind, which John knew he would spit out eventually. They sat in companionable silence and enjoyed the peace, the sunlight warm on their bodies. The quiet stretched so long that John almost dozed off.

"I came to apologize."

"Rodney..."

"I know what you said last night, and I believe you. But … I want to make sure that this isn't going to be an issue … like Doranda."

Ah, now John understood. It was a trust thing. "No, this isn't going to be an issue. You were essentially tricked, along with a lot of other people." John reached into the cooler beside his chair and pulled out two bottles of tea. "Here, sit down and take a load off."

Rodney perched on the end of John's chaise lounge then leaned over and picked up a bag which he handed to John. "I told Staff Sergeant Ortiz what happened. She didn't even threaten to shish kebob me. She didn't have anything of you-know-what on tonight's menu. She did send part of the first batch of tonight's dessert with me. She thought we'd like a snack and she hopes you feel better."

John shot Rodney a crooked grin. "Carson took me off duty so I could rest. It took a while last night for me to get to sleep because I was sore." He peeked inside the bag then reached in to pull out a foil wrapped package that smelled … delicious. "Are these her …"

"Blondies. Still warm. With walnuts."

John jumped up, blondies in hand and trotted to the kitchen. He reappeared several minutes later and thrust a plate into Rodney's hands. The plate held one of the coveted blondies, now hot, along with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, drizzled in caramel. "Sorry I don't have any maple butter sauce."

"No, this is fine."

"Are we good?" Rodney asked, spoon halfway to his mouth.

"Yeah, we're good."

John had to admit, his life was good. It had its pains, but it also had its joys. And he had a family to share both with.

- _And Life Goes On_ -


End file.
